“But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.” (Titus 2:1-2)
I remember a line from “It’s A Wonderful Life” where George Bailey (played by James Steward) was told by his father “You were born old” (or something close to that anyway). George (as a college-aged young man) is sitting with his father at the table discussing George’s plan for college and career. His father is trying to give him some sound advice, some fatherly advice – good advice. Yet here is George with his youthful fancies of somehow becoming a millionaire by the time he is 30 and trying to make a difference in the world – so he won’t accept his dad’s advice. Poor George.
As we look back over our lives, how many times have you and I been given such wise counsel and rejected it because it just didn’t seem to fit into our grandiose schemes and plans? Take a moment and reflect on this. Now fast-forward to the present and think about all the times we have tried to offer sound advice to the younger generation, only to have them laugh in our faces or outright smack down our counsel because we’re old and don’t understand how it is now? An interesting twist of fate, no?
I have been most blessed with wise counsel all my life. I remember Mr. Rodgers (no kidding), an old railroad engineer who lived behind us when I was but a child. Mr. Rodgers taught me about caring for his pets without going to the veterinarian for every little thing. He (along with my dad) taught me how to defend myself using extreme measures only when needed. I also remember Jack Curry, our town’s funeral director’s son, who was a Vietnam veteran (thus about 10-15 years older than I) who dad enlisted to walk the old railroad tracks between our town and the next (about 7-10 miles) and discuss life. I have had good pastors (George Tomko was one) who taught me the reality and relativity of God in our present-day lives. Our next-door neighbor, Maymie Tuttle, who, although blind herself, took in a border who was completely blind and deaf and they looked after one another. I had a retired U.S. Army General once who tried to give me sound financial guidance when I was just a private (his advice was actually quite profitable if only I had listened and followed it). As a minister and pastor, I have been blessed with solid and wise counselors – Dr. Chuck Clark (who became my mentor and spiritual father-figure), Dr. Doug Schlemmer (who taught me that although ministry can be stressful, it can also be made pleasurable), Dr. Lowell Ford (who taught me the strict, rigid, and spiritual-rightness of watching and trying my beliefs against the Word of God), and so many others. Currently I have my pastor, Shane Tomko (George’s son, by the way), with whom I grew up (distantly) but who absorbed his father’s wisdom and stature in Christ and community. I have friends and brothers: John Hamilton (Army buddy) who is NOT a believer in Christ but will one day be; Rev. Jon Keck, with whom I have a distant relationship yet he remains a solid and formidable example for me to follow; Reggie Gilbert (a very dear brother in Christ) who teaches me constantly how to live a life of true relationship with Christ instead of religion; Rev. James Jacques, a faithful and loyal brother in Christ who, though younger chronologically than me, is my elder in Christ and teaches me by example how to minister in spite of life’s circumstances and that joy is found inside and always in Christ; FR Leo Enlow (yes, a Catholic priest) for whom I no longer work, but in our time together also taught me the beauty and majesty of representing Christ in daily life and has a caring, open, loving relationship towards all he meets. This list could go on endlessly. I am most blessed.
In our passage today, Paul is writing one of his proteges, Titus, about the importance of fellowship across generational lines. One thing I miss from my youth was the tight bond of a close family. Ours was dysfunctional, to be sure, yet there were so many lessons taught me by my elders! I was raised from an early age to respect those older than I as well as those in positions of authority. Some lessons I learned in a positive way – good examples and advice. Others I learned rather negatively – I saw how NOT to react or respond to things. From my father I learned respect for my (future) military leaders – especially those who had seen combat first-hand. He raised me according to the strict rules of knighthood – to protect the weak, young, handicapped, and down-and-out. He also taught me to avoid alcohol (a lesson I wish I had listened to better). I saw first-hand the effects of broken relationships with my aunts and uncles, my own older sister (whom I barely got to know before she died way too young). All these and many more I learned by observing and interacting with those older than I.
My friend, this is my encouragement to you today – if you have people in your life who are older than you – be it family, friends, or acquaintances – observe their lives, learn from them, emulate those things that are good, shun those things that are bad, listen to their conversations with their peers if you can, ask them questions, seek their advice for your own life. Yes, I miss the bonds of relationships across generational lines. As I was once told, “You have never been my age before, but I MOST DEFINITELY have been yours.” Paul tells the elders in the church to pass on wise counsel and solid advice to the younger – to train them up. Older men take the younger under your wing and teach them. Older women (later in this passage) are to take the younger women and teach them – not just spiritual things, but LIFE lessons that will make them good and wise women.
What if they don’t take your advice? I get aggravated almost daily when I see those in my circle denounce my counsel and go about it their own way, only to fall – again. But I must remember to be gracious to them just as God has been gracious to me. I chuckle every time I read the social media post that refers to yelling at a squirrel in on-coming traffic and how that must be how God feels most of the time when He sees me!
How true! My friend, God has definitely been so, SO good to me, as He has been to you. I challenge you to continue to grow in God and to be on the lookout for the next younger version of yourself. Reach out to those who are seeking, answer the questions and concerns of others – whether younger (who are seeking advice), same age (who may just need a friend to walk alongside), or older (who may just need to lean on your youth and be reminded of God’s love). Especially in these days it is imperative we have a circle of counsel around us at all times and that we have good and faithful friends to walk this road together. Be that true and trusted brother or sister to someone today.
Be blessed.
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